I believe that I can hold conversations with God. In my dreams, he hears my prayers. His sweet words, they answer my questions.
I asked God why he allowed terrible things like natural disasters to kill so many innocent people? He answered me as follows.
'Because you do not understand, I forgive you.
I do not understand dear God, Please forgive me.
God answered, 'I know you do not understand. I see your fears. I know your prayers. I am always with you, but why do you doubt me?
I doubt you because I do not understand? When will I begin to see the light?
God smiled. A flash of blazing glory crossed the horizon and he said, 'Be of good faith. You must believe, then you will begin to understand.
I find it hard to believe in that which I cannot see or understand dear God.
God said, 'If you have enough faith you will learn to understand. And if you have enough faith you will recognize my glory that is within you.
With this last pronouncement a warm glow of pure joy seemed to fill every fiber of my being and I said, 'thank you dear God.
And God said, 'be not afraid because I am always with you. I have given you the ability to think independently. Use this gift wisely.
Thank you God, but how can I use your gift wisely if I do not understand?
God replied, 'If you have enough faith you will begin to understand. If you have enough faith, all things are possible. Why do you question me?
I have so many questions dear God. When will I begin to know the answers?
'When you are ready, when you have evolved into the thinking human being I meant you to be, God replied.
I feel that I have been ready to believe in you my entire life dear God.
God said, 'Than where is your faith? Why do you question me who has created you?
I do not have the answer dear God; all I have is more questions.
God said, 'If you still question me than you do not have enough faith in yourself. For I have made you in my image.
At this point I felt as if the whole world was shaking and trembling. I asked God if he was mad at me?
God said, I am not mad, I share your pain, I share your dreams, I know your frustrations, why do you still question me?
Dear God, I do not know why I am so insecure. I only know that I wish with all my heart to believe in you.
God chuckled and the whole nights sky seemed to light up with his merriment. He said, 'You will, for I believe that you are evolving into a good and worthwhile person.
I told God that I found it hard to believe that God had faith in me considering all the weaknesses of spirit that I suffered from.
God said, 'You are entitled to be a Person of Faith because I created you in my own image just as all of these seemingly random acts of nature are part of my grand design for the evolution of your world in the interests of the greater good. Do not question my intent.
With this a feeling of pure bliss took hold of me. I felt a sense of contentment and peace of mind that I had never known before. All I could do was to murmur, 'Thank you dear God.
God encompassed me and said, 'Why has it taken you so long to find my grace? Why have you had to fight yourself to become a Person of Faith?
I guess even God has questions when it comes to dealing with his own creation.
God must have heard me for he said, 'It is all part of my grand design. As you begin to evolve into the thinking human being that I have created you to be, you will begin to understand. Tell all your friends that question their faith that they are all part of my creation. They are part of my grand design.
I didn't want to tell God that I still didn't understand why bad things happen to innocent people, so I decided to take his pronouncement as correct as a matter of faith. He must have heard my thoughts because He said,
"Now you are starting to get the message, spread the word."